muzzles and shock collars

I have decided that youth sports (specifically soccer the "full contact-non contact" sport) would be so much more enjoyable if parents weren't allowed to attend...but then I remembered, I am a parent, and I love to watch my kids participate so I went back to the drawing board. I was thinking muzzles...all parents must wear muzzles, but, 99.9% of the time what I shout is positive and thoughtful (we don't need to discuss the other .1 percent...I am human and I carried and gave birth to that little human running around on that sports field and if some post pubescent neandrathal with a stupid little goatee runs him over I will likely voice my displeasure). So, if ALL parents were muzzled I would not be able to shout "be majestic Bob" to my little boys or "you're pretty" to my girls (sometimes I get the two mixed up, the girls are confused and the boys get downright huffy) so, mandatory muzzles are not the answer. That led me to wonder about the shock collar that delivers just a little volt to our dog if it wanders too near the wire fence buried deep in our yard. And that is just what it is my friends...knowing when you have gone over board is sometimes hard, especially when you see you're sons and daughters out on the field going head to head (shoulder to shoulder as the case were) in the heat of battle. Those are our babies out there and we want to protect and defend even when we are only supposed to spectate. But, we need to try harder to remember that the other guy...even the post pubescent neandrathal with the goatee...is somebody's baby too. Maybe not as cute and cuddly as ours, but still, their baby. So, I have settled on the shock collar...just a little zing when our comments go from positive to negative, towards building up instead of crushing down. And, I honestly believe the ONLY time a parent should say anything about an opposing team member is if they are congratulating them on a well played moment. You do yours, I'll do mine. Trust me, I know my kid can get ugly sometimes, rarely thank goodness, but if he does, his coach or his father and I will handle it. We've managed to get them this far without your help and we will carry on.

The saddest thing I think, is that most won't even recognize themselves as the ones who need the shock collars. I might have been there once...when my girls were little I thought winning and being the best would make them feel better about themselves, better than I felt about myself growing up, but you know what? We are on the other side of sports with them now and truth is...it just didn't matter...winning didn't make them feel better, losing didn't make them feel worse, in the long run anyway. So, as my experience grows so does my understanding. It's just a game, whether its a "friendly" in soccer or the district finals in baseball....I want them to perform well and yes I want them to win, because winning tends to be more fun than losing. But I want them to win with integrity and I want them to lose with the confidence that it doesn't change who they are. I want them to perform with the knowledge that if they give it their all, yet they err, no blow hard stranger, or worse a teammates parent, is going to yell from the stands and question their right to be where they are.

I could spend time proof reading and editing this piece. I know it is jumpy and I have spelled neandrathal wrong...but stream of consciousness stuff is rarely well edited...it is just mental vomit in my opinion...but, as we all know when we have that upset stomach there is that underlying feeling, "if I can just get this out, I know I'll feel better". So there, I have compared my writing to vomit...have a good day.