Evidently, I AM Superwoman

There are countless devotionals and or inspirational readings that try to convince woman that there is no such thing as "Supermom". Even though we feel we must try, we can not ever be all things to all people. I agree with that whole heartedly. I am only one person and I can't make every one happy all the time. And I don't even feel compelled to try because I certainly believe that, if I attempted to always make my kids happy, they would never learn what real life is like. HOWEVER (you had to know THAT was coming)...I have concluded that I DO have super powers...I will just share a few of you.

1. I have super intelligence: I am the only one that knows how to operate the vacuum cleaner. That may not be the entire truth. I guess it is more fair to say that I am the only one that understands that the vacuum cleaner, when used properly, can suck animal hair and other debris off the floor.

2. I have super intuitiveness: I am the only one who knows how to locate the vacuum cleaner. I'm not sure how super this is...I usually just go look where the vacuum cleaner is supposed to be and if it is not there I take a random poll of who might have used it last and then I retrace their steps to find said vacuum. So it may not be an actual super power because it is really just common sense but I seem to be the only one who employs it so I think that is super.

3. I have super vision: I am the only one who can see the actual debris on the floor. Others can walk right on it in their bare feet even, yet not even feel it. I may be the only one that understands that fruit snack wrappers, empty birthday card envelopes, the little squiggly edges of notebook paper, that have been torn off, and the like, don't actually belong on the ground or tabletops, but I prefer to see this as a super power because then it makes it less annoying.

4. I have super strength: Not like the kind that can lift a car off a child (although I firmly believe any mother could do this if need be). No! I am the only one who can open the dishwasher to see if it is full of clean dishes (therefore ready to be emptied) or dirty dishes (therefore there is no reason to put the dirty dish in hand in the sink but deposit it directly in the dish washing receptacle). In all fairness to my offspring, a few years back I purchased a magnet, mostly because I needed something to put in Kevin's Christmas stocking. It is a two "headed" magnet that says "clean" on one end and "dirty" on the other. This was stuck to the front of the dishwasher to make the opening of the appliance (which has proven to be too strenuous for our spawn)less imperative. However, sometimes in the rush of daily living, we forget to flip the magnet. Therefore, sometimes it is just inaccurate...making the opening of said receptacle necessary. But, they just can't do it. Poor little mortal beings :-(. I really have nothing but pity for them.

5. I have super communication skills. I am the only one who knows how to use an actual telephone connection. I can text with the best of them and will do that if I can but, if a phone call is necessary, I can perform this task. Also, I am the only one who knows how to look up a phone number. We have a phone book, but I think the children think it is only something to prop things up with.

6. I have super soothing abilities. I have the ability (apparently) to make all bad things feel not so bad, simply by being present. This is actually my favorite...:-)