I can touch "crazy"

I can touch "crazy". I dance around it's edges. I have all my life. I'm not talking "Ted Bundy crazy". Nor Sylvia Plath (is that the name of someone who killed themselves?). Even in my darkest moments I've never thought life to be not worth living. Quite the opposite, I've always thought it would be a shame to not see what the next moment holds.

When I was younger I lived in a fantasy world. If I had lived in the world of today's children I would have been diagnosed with ADHD and put on some type of medication. That might have been okay. But, I tell my kids all the time that I don't think I would want to change my past if it meant a different outcome of my present. I can't see a way of changing my past to bring me to the present I currently have. And I'm a super big fan of the present I currently have.

Now I am on medication. Just a small dose of something that takes the edge off the high's and low's. But, sometimes I forget to refill the medication...and I think sometimes I do it on purpose, because the first thing a day without Cymbalta does is allows me to feel everything. Notice how I wrote everything in purple? Because, that is kind of what it feels like...purple. After a few hours of purple though, it heads into this muddy greenish-brown that is neither pretty nor inviting to live with. So I have to be careful. I only want to dance around the edges of crazy. I don't want to dive all the way in.

This is me on my honeymoon...back when I was sexy on the outside too:-)

Tripping down memory lane

Today I decided to take my homeschool geeks to the Allegan County Fair. The ACF (as I will now call it) is my "hometown fair" as I was born and raised in beautiful Otsego, Michigan which is nestled comfortably in Allegan County. We left the house around 9:40 AM (not bad for us, we are not morning people. We stopped a mere three times during the one and a half hour drive. Once for money, once to pee, and once for snacks.

Our first stop was in the "Historical Village" inside the fair grounds. This was a deliberate attempt to make a trip to a county fair a "field trip". I think it was a successful attempt because I must have heard, "when will we be done." and "this is boring" forty times per child.


Above the boys are modeling some of the props in the one room school house. Bryan was later told not to touch the pointer that Travis is holding in this photo. I think they need to know that, if you don't want a boy to touch it...you dang well better nail it down!

I thought the church was interesting because it had, at one time, been a Free Methodist Church. And most recently I have begun to consider myself a Free Methodist. Only in the loosest terms I guess. I don't pay for a pew seat and I can be methodical. Mostly, I just try to love Jesus and others to the best of my ability. But, I like the people, the preacher(and his wife) and the music at the Free Methodist church in my little burg. So I will call myself a Free Methodist and be okay with that.

After the Historical Village we took a stroll through all the animal barns. The boys determined that roosters and rabbits smell, sheep are pretty boring and if you've seen one cow, you've pretty much seen them all. They were not thrilled with the idea that many of these animals were being sold for slaughter...didn't stop Travis from eating 2 bacon cheeseburgers later in the day. I They did enjoy the baby animal barn where they made friends with this little guy here. I wanted to take him home as a pet but Travis said, "mom, it won't stay little and cute forever." And I said, "this is true...consider all of you kids!" So the goat did NOT come home with us.


We walked through another barn and found these, "DR FART" things. I'm not even sure what they were but I'm certain that if I would have been willing to plop down the money for them they would have provided endless hours of pleasure for my two young chargers. I mean, just the word "fart" can produce giggles...imagine the fun to be had making actual fart noises. It was just too much to process.

After we walked through all the barns we still had a half hour to kill before the midway rides and games opened up. Fortunately, a friend, Jacque came to our rescue. She and her husband work at the fair with the Mounted Police Division. She found us and gave us a "behind the scenes" tour of the fairgrounds on a souped up golf cart. It was likely the best ride of the day.

After our ride around the grounds, Jacque dropped us off on the midway. The boys were excited to ride some rides and since it was dollar day I didn't have to say no or put much of a limit on them. I even bought a few tickets for myself since I can remember loving fair rides when I was a kid. The first ride they went on was called Vertigo. They were strapped somewhat loosely into over-sized swings, raised about a billion feet (I might be exaggerating) into the air and hurtled around in circles.


The next ride I decided to keep them closer to the ground so I went with them on one of my old favorites the Himalaya. Wow, am I old! It was horrible. My neck whipped around and my knee ground into the big metal bar holding us in. I wanted nothing more than for the silly ride to end. Unfortunately, Bryan was still too short to go on several of the rides without me accompanying him...so I was in for more fun. My favorite part of the midway was a comfortable little spot in the shade next to the harmless, slow moving, close to the ground, non hurtle producing...bumper cars.

While they were on some spinning, twirling, death machine I talked to one of the "carnies" nearby who was hosting a game. I asked him how much it cost and what they had to do to win. He said, "everyone wins, if you pay $3.00 you get to pick a small prize, if you pay $5.00 you get to pick a big prize." I liked those odds. So when the boys came off the ride I delighted them with the news that they would, after all, be allowed to play "one of these ridiculously expensive games." They both showed their brute strength by ringing a bell and walking off with $6.00 worth of stuff that would have only cost a buck at the dollar store...the Fair:-)

On our way back home we stopped to visit G-ma and G-pa. Grandpa bought Wendy's burgers and Ben joined us to chat about the mindless things the little boys like to chat about when they have someone's "undivided" attention. They also gave Grandma a hug to help her heal after knee replacement surgery and we then proceeded to drive back to the Arbor.

There were definitely lessons learned today but they may have all been mine.

This past week has been a week of changes. We started by changing that tire on the van and it has just been all over the charts since then. Monday, Kevin and I, along with our faithful sidekicks Travis and Bryan, drove back down to Huntington to watch another soccer game (I guess I shouldn't say watch another soccer game, since we never quite made it to the game on Saturday. But, I already said it, and it makes far more sense to just keep typing then to erase what is already here...in permanent pixels. Huntington won again, this time on a PK, shot and scored by my darling daughter Samantha L. Barclay. When I saw that coach was having her take the shot, I threw up in my mouth a little. But, I can't recall ever seeing her miss one (although I'm sure she has...maybe not...I guess I can't really recall her ever missing) Anyway, that just seems like excessive bragging but, what the heck...it is my blog...no one is making you read it for goodness sake. So, at any rate, she took the shot and made it. Travis was standing behind the net when she shot. He was very excited. He ran up to us yelling, "she totally sold it, she faked right and went left.".


Here she is with the ref (we labeled the ref a shim because we were just unsure) and then taking the shot.

After the game we went out to dinner at Applebees. I ate something new, which I will not recommend because, while the ravioli itself was scrumptious, it was covered with nasty things like mushrooms, onions and red peppers which made the delectable stuff too hard to get to. I like dinner to be an anerobic event.

Tuesday was the day to start school For my older three (who still live at home...that would be Erin, Abby and Cole...I know, it confuses me sometimes too) that meant getting up at the butt crack of dawn. This is what that looked like...

It's never pretty...But they clean up nice and they are willing to stand in front of the one pathetic little tree in our front yard and let me take their picture.




This is Erin, she's a senior in high school this year, although she wants nothing to do with it. She is completely ready to move on with her life. I think, regardless of her likely protestions (is that a word...it sounds dirty) anyway, I think what she will like most about college is the potential for blocks of time where she can nap. The kid was impossible to get to sleep when she was a toddler but, she is making up for it now.

This is my Abba Do. On the night before the first day of school, at a time nearing midnight, Abby colored her hair. She was going for dark brown and got black. Moments of drama ensued. Who does this? Only Abby, and that is one of the many reasons I love her. So she started her junior year with black hair...moving on.

One of the things I truly love about my first born boy Coley Woley Henry Barclay is he has an awesome "fake smile for photos" you know how I know this? Because you are seeing it in this picture. There was nothing even remotely worth smiling about for him at this particular moment...except of course because his mom asked him to. I find that endearing. His actual comment this morning of his first day of high school was, "Everybody always looks happy in their first day of school pictures because their moms actually get up with them before school". There are several things about this statement that need to be addressed 1: It is touching, but a little sad, 2: I hope he never realizes that most mothers actually do get up with their children. and 3: I can't remember a third thing but it would have looked odd with only two things.
More irony as I ask them to kiss their baby brother. Abby, who often is in a "hate-hate" relationship with Cole, goes for actual contact. While Erin, who seems to be Cole's hand's down favorite most of the time, goes for the European "air kiss". Life is unpredictable at best!

So, about two hours after the ridiculously early photo shoot for my high schoolers, my homeschool "geeks" are up and in action. This picture pretty much sums up the essence of our homeschool environment. Learn by living with a little bit of book work thrown in. In the above picture they are working on their...aw heck...even I can't make something out of this. They were just having fun! And why not?...they are LITTLE BOYS they were built for fun:-)

Later in the day we went on a "field trip" to Lansing with the Chili's. After a stops at the Christian Book Store, Hobby Lobby and Coldstone Creamery we headed to Preuss Pets where I saw a rat sleeping like this...

I can completely empathize with this little dude. (or dudette...I did not ask).



While this might seem like it's not a very good picture I thought it was worth posting. You see, this is a tarantula and, according to Urban Legend (the girl at Quizno's told me...she had piercings in unusual places so I consider her urban), it is the size of Travis' head. So anyway, the equally pierced employee of Preuss Pets allowed me to take pictures of this allegedly "head- sized" tarantula but the camera would only focus on the dirt scattered on the surface of the cage. Does anyone see the life metaphor here? How often do we focus on the dirty exterior and never take the time to get to see the beauty inside. Of course, sometimes the "beauty" ends up being a big nasty spider...but it's always worth the chance. Because, you see, we also learned more facts about tarantulas that day. The pierced employee, whom I shall from here on out call Pierce, (although he had a name tag on and his name was Michael. I think Pierce is more fun for this story.) Anyway, Pierce told us that tarantulas are not spiders, they are arachnids (I thought that was the same thing but, what do I know). He also told us that they weren't poisonous and to prove it he held one (not the head sized one) and let it crawl all over him. You might be saying to yourself, "but clearly he isn't afraid of extra holes in his body." But I think if it were a venemous hole he would be concerned. Travis asked Pierce why everyone thought tarantulas were so dangereous and Pierce's reply was "because Hollywood sucks". I think this is also a life lesson that everyone needs to learn. So day one of homeschooling produced at least three great life lessons. Don't focus on the exterior, Tarantulas are not poisonous (the jury is still out on this one) and Hollywood Sucks.

Onward... Wednesday included another trip to Huntington with my "little guys" to watch big sis play soccer. It was a beautiful day for soccer and a great game. Samantha scored another goal...although clearly that is not what she is doing in this picture as in this one she is kicking it right at the keeper. I have told her not to do that. Soccer is such an easy sport from the sidelines. I put the other picture of her in there because I just think that is darned impressive.

Feel free to be amazed by her. I am!

Thursday night was JV football at WHS. While Cole is not a huge fan of football practice he does come alive a bit for games. In this particular game he got a solo tackle. Unfortunately, he did not get credit for a solo tackle by the announcer. But I caught in on "film" (in pixels?) for all the world (or just the five readers of my blog) to see.

Cole is the tough looking guy staring the runner down, then he raps him up while that other guy taps on his helmet to tell him, "good job buddy, you go" (at least this is how I imagine it going down) and then, in his delight and enthusiasm he bear hugs Cole! YEAH FOOTBALL! Not sure what the two guys on the ground are doing but, if I were their mothers' I would be embarrassed for them:-) (I'm joking in case those mothers read this..all in fun you know...if you can't take the joke then stay out of the blog).

Another Western JV victory and the team sings the fight song in the end zone. Cole says he sings...I'd like to hear that:-)
Just bringing this little guy back in the picture to sum up the week...sweet dreams and blessing,
JAB

Wild animals and bizzare homosapiens

Day two in Ft Wayne started with tons of promise!

Oh wait, that was in someone else's life. Our Sunday started with arguments about Kevin being too uptight and me being too...well, the opposite of uptight but with a negative connotation. Samantha, Erin and Abby had left the hotel Saturday night to spend the night at Samantha's dorm. Samantha wanted us to attend church with her and some of her soccer teammates. We made it to church (in time I might add...but only because Kevin won't ever get on and read this).

Our plan after church was to go to the Ft Wayne Zoo. The kids and I first went back to HU to enjoy brunch at the DC while Kevin went to check out of the hotel. It was another glorious day weather wise. I took a few shots of the kids whilst we waited for Kevin to return.

It took a while to get a good picture because Cole was once again very devastated that our day was not going to revolve around him. After four attempts he promised me he would smile for one picture...above is the result.

Once again, the waiting time game was "Ninja". I don't really get the game, nor do I want to, but it makes the little guys giggle so I love that.

We arrived at the Ft Wayne Zoo only to discover that everyone in the tri-state area had the same idea for the day. We had to park about 46 million miles (give or take about...well...all of that, it is a blatant over-exaggeration for effect) and began our trek to the zoo.


Bryan had received a plain sticker name tag at church and for some reason became strangely attached to it. He didn't want to take it off all day. I just didn't want you all to think we couldn't remember his name.








"The Dingo ate your baby"


I told the little boys they could pick one animal from the zoo and take some pictures of it so they could do a report on it this first week of school. Bryan chose the California Sea Lion. He wanted me to take the pictures. While he was looking at the sea lions in the back of the pen this guy came right up next to him. He never even noticed. :-) This is a good example of looking for something and missing the obvious. It's metaphoric but he's eight so I shouldn't expect too much.

Just a bit over seven years ago was the last time I took my kids to this zoo. They had little or no memory of it but I knew. I also remembered a picture I had taken of the six of them. I knew it was on some kind of bronze animal statue but I couldn't remember what it was. I kept telling Kevin I would know it when I saw it. And I did...so here they are seven years older but on the same tortoise. If I was ambitious I would dig out the old picture...heck, if I was my sister it would be in a book somewhere instead of in a box in our basement. But, I'm me. So you'll just have to take my word for it. You can't tell by their smiles that most of the time surrounding the taking of this picture was full of arguments about who was going to sit where and how much they hated each other. That is one thing I truly love about my kids...at any second in time they can all pull together to smile for a picture regardless of how deeply that despise each other at that moment. It makes me believe that, if the going ever gets tough for them, they will put differences aside and work together. But, since the going will likely never get tough for them, as a unit, unless I am dead, I don't anticipate seeing it...so I have to cherish the moments when they all smile at the same time because I asked them to.


After our tortoise shot it was time to leave. We headed back to Guatemala to get to our van. This next moment is one I also treasure because it is soooooo us. Apparently, in their delighted glee to get to the zoo everyone failed to shut the door on Clifford. So whilst we were in "enjoying" our time together, our van was wide open to be stolen from. Of course, as I explained to Kevin, the aforementioned, "my glass if half empty" guy, most people in the world are inherently honest. Plus, we have little of value...suffice it to say nothing was stolen:-)




There has never been a time when I haven't loved this pose of Kevin with any of our kids. There is nothing sexier than a man carrying one of his babies.

Our last stop of the day was a resturant called Clara's Pizza King. It was pretty cool. You phoned in your order from the table. Here is a shot of Travis asking for ranch dressing.


They also had porch swings for seats. We thought it looked cool but then nobody but Bryan wanted to sit in it because it was super uncomfortable. Finally, Samantha said she would do it for Bryan's sake...so like her:-)


The zoo was overcrowded, Cole didn't want to be there, we left the van door open for all the world to see our messy lives (because I truly feel like the whole world was at the Ft Wayne Zoo yesterday) and by the end of the day I had to change into my "fat lady" shorts because I was just feeling chubby! Life is far from perfect...isn't it delightful? :-)

flat tires and good attitudes

Earlier this week I think I bragged, in my head, just a little about how Norman Rockwelly our weekend would be. Sometimes I fantasize that we are the perfect little (well okay bigger than normal) family. We, worship, pray, and love together and always want to have perfect little Kodak moments. God often likes to keep me in my place when I get smug...

Saturday morning was spent blissfully enough. Travis had football practice, Cole whined about the lack of college football on our "basic cable" channels, Kevin went across to Gallagher to help line soccer fields. It was "hoodie" weather, which I personally look forward to, although I rarely wear a hoodie because I sweat like...well...like something that sweats a lot. Our plan was to leave around 1:30 PM for a 2 hour drive to Huntington, to attend a 4:00 game. Cole was pushing the 1:30 departure time in order to get him to his sister's dorm in time for a 3:30 kick-off for the U of M game. Already, my "perfect family" facade is showing it's cracks. Cole only cared about football, not his beloved oldest sister's soccer game.

Kevin asked to be the man (which means he wanted to be the driver). I allowed him to be (which, if anyone is paying attention means I am actually in control, therefore the "man" in the biblical sense:-)). The worse part of the drive to Huntington University (30 minutes west of I-69 near Ft Wayne) is the first half hour driving down M-60 to get to I-69. It is a two lane road, usually populated by slow drivers who are, clearly, not in a hurry to get to the kick off of a U of M game in a dorm in Indiana.

Kevin decided to pass two cars while driving a long M-60. I was a little nervous, even though I am an aggressive driver myself. This particular pass seemed a bit risky. But, he made it. We both agreed later that we heard a loud noise when he pulled back into our lane in front of the other drivers, who we shall blame for this episode, so we can feel better about ourselves. We continued cruising along and were on I-69 just south of Coldwater (which is highly populated and would have been a great place to notice the problem). I must admit that when Kevin first mentioned that he thought the van was driving funny I laughed at him inside my head. I have determined through our years of marriage that my husband (I love him dearly) is a pessimist. He is who "Murphy's laws" were written for. So, whenever he is behind the wheel of the van he determines that it "isn't driving right" for some reason. I usually scoff at him and say, "whatever" (also in my head to avoid ugliness). But, as we went just a bit further (again, away from a metropolis that would have proved very useful in our predicament) I had to agree that the van was NOT driving well. It was shaking like Shakira. It's hips were definitely not lying. We drove to the next exit, which was in the middle of nowhere (seriously, there was a sign that said, "this would be the worse possibly place to have any kind of vehicle failure...okay, that is not 100% true but it is effectual in protraying our situation well).

With no surprise, we found our right front tire to be quite flat. We were, however, surprised to find we did not have a spare. We called 911 (because what else do you do?..."911 what is your emergency? "Well, it's more of a "hardship" than an emergency really..." A tow truck was called and we began the waiting process.

Here stands KDB, calmly processing our situation. He later said he blamed himself for being impatient on M-60, so I thought this picture spoke volumes:-)

I walked across the street with "Midge" (my camera if you're following) to a small, old cemetery. I found a grave stone of a man named Boaz who was born in the 1700's and died before the Civil War. Being a history geek, I thought that was interesting. I also found a gravestone that was broken in two. It made me think about the fact that the only lasting thing we can truly leave on this earth is our legacy. Nothing else is permenant

Erin and Travis entertained themselves in the van by playing the new game "Ninja".

We realized that the tow truck was not exactly being rushed to us so we decided to explore the area and found that about 1/2 mile down the country road was a gas station. Potty breaks and snacks were in order so we all trudged down there as Kevin waited for the "tow truck of salvation". When the truck arrived, the only option was to load Clifford up and drive back up to Coldwater to the Wal-Mart for a new tire. I thought the back of the tow truck was prophetic.

We have had experiences with being towed before and knew that our whole family would not fit in the tow truck to be hauled back to Wal-mart...we knew we would be stuck at the gas station for the duration. So we loaded up on healthy snacks...

...and began the waiting process. Thank goodness for Ipods, cell phones, and trash cans to go all "ninja" on.



After about an hour and a half at the gas station, (with regular updates from KDB at Wal-mart on both the progress of the tire and the U of M score), we decided to head back to the spot where we had started so Kevin could pick us up from there to head south to Huntington. First some pictures were in order to document our glorious afternoon in what I found out was Kinderhook Township.




Kevin returned to pick us up and we headed south to a game we would be too late for. Samantha scored a goal that we missed but, by all accounts, it wasn't a very interesting game. We arrived at our hotel just as my updater (Thanks Toni:-)) text me to say "game over".

In the past, a situation like this, would have been cause for bad attitudes and "why me" moments. But, everyone handled the day with a lot of "grace under fire" and, if not pleasant, than atleast tolerable attitudes. When it comes right down to it, Norman Rockwell's got nothing on the Barclays:-)