unboilng the frog

Everyone has heard the story about the frog that is put in a pot of room temperature water and isn't smart enough to jump out as the heat increases. Eventually the frog boils to death. I've been thinking of that a lot lately. We are in that pot. We've put our kids in that pot. Don't get me wrong, we are "others loving", Jesus following die-hards. We want to be our best for Christ...but sometimes...that other stuff is just so darn fun. I'm not talking about anything too severe. We make sure our kids know they are being held to a higher standard than we had of ourselves at their age. And they are doing a pretty good job of upholding those standards. What I worry about is the things they've been given and the things we do for them.

My eyes have opened wider recently to the "have-nots" in the world. The gap is wide between the haves and have nots and it is getting wider and wider everyday. Just recently we bought a Kinect sensor for our Xbox. It is a new part of a gaming system that is touted for its ability to keep kids active instead of the same old sedentary video games. I like it, we've had a lot of fun with it, tons of family together time and a LOT of laughs. And it does keep the kids more active than say, Madden 11, but probably not as active as poor little "Joe Africa" fighting to find enough food each day to stay alive. See what I mean? The gap is HUGE.

It is hard to not give to my kids. I mean, I didn't really exsist as who I am before them. And, if I'm honest with myself, and sadly, I am brutally honest with myself to the point of tears often, I don't really exist outside of them. Jackie Kennedy said something (and I would quote but I'm too lazy to look it up so you'll have to be tolerant of my paraphrase) If we mess up on raising our kids, nothing else we do really matters. I pretty much take that to heart.

So I really want to raise kids with an awareness of the "have-nots". I want them to feel truly blessed with what they have and not entitled. I want to reverse the boil on the pot o' frog. But, the catchy part here, is maintaining my credibility. Learning to not want more than I need myself. That is tough...there is a lot of cool stuff out there. But, I can do without a lot of things...it is harder to withhold something from someone you love, enough to die for, a thing that you know would make them smile. But for how long? Until the next thing that everyone else is getting makes them feel less smiley about the thing you just got them. The fire under the pot is getting higher and hotter.

It is November 22, Yesterday I turned 46. It was a strange day. I often think a lot. Sometimes I don't care for it. When you have stream of conciousness thought with no scheduled stops, a lot of crazy things can go through your head. But yesterday I mostly thought about how my birthday was "no big deal". And when I say "no big deal" I don't mean..."I really want to say it's no big deal but I want people to shower me with attention and then I want to pout profusely when it doesn't happen."

I guess I really think a birthday of my own is no big deal. I mean...I didn't do anything special on that first day (November 21, 1964). I know for a fact that I spit up an entire bottle of formula on the woman that had just carried me for nine months and then gave birth to all 9 plus pounds of me (I'm spitballing here...spitballing...HA...I crack myself up with my unintentional irony. But, I really don't know how much I weighed). This is the only birth story I know for myself. That and that I was born in the middle of a pretty heavy snowstorm.

I think the first 26 years of my life were just another incubation process. I was truly born March 19, 1991, then again just shy of two years later on January 10th, 1993 again on May 4, 1994, January 11th, 1996, November 3rd, 1999 and for the final time on August 8th, 2002. It might sound corny but I just know what I was born to be. And I was just marking time until then. Everything about being a mom to six of the best kids on the planet has made me want to be better at everything else I try.

Including being a better wife. Who wouldn't love this guy?

For those of you who think I'm taking on a Pollyanna view to motherhood or that I've somehow truly latched on to the only six perfect children in the universe, please let me share. By about 4:00 yesterday I just wanted them all to go away. Too much togetherness is not good. They were crabby, which was making mama crabby and you know how the saying goes. "If mama ain't happy...ain't nobody happy". But truly that is an unfair saying, because most mothers know that we will gladly sacrifice our happiness, our spot on the couch, our last piece of birthday cake kindly delievered by a neighbor...to make our offspring happy.

So, I also think my kids have made me a better follower of Jesus. Because I get it...I understand what it feels like to care enough to sacrifice whatever needs to be sacrificed. To feel that what is best for them is what's best in general. To love them enough to die for them.

I know that God is our Father because the Bible tells us so. And I mean no disprespect to fathers. I know Kevin would lay down his life in a second for any one of our kids. But I really think of motherly love when I think of God. Because I get it. It's not about me, it was never about me. And someday, I pray that each one of my kids feels the same way about their birthday...

brief musings from November, brought to you by; the month of October.

It is the 17th of November. I have checked my last post...it was the 18th of October...ya'll probably think I have had nothing happen in the past 30 days. Or perhaps..."ya'll" haven't been thinking about me at all. That is too crushing to even imagine so I will pretend that you have been waiting with bated breath (I don't really know what that means...it sounds like a periodontal issue) but at any rate...pull up a toothbrush and some Listerine because I HAVE been doing stuff and now I'm going to write it all down for you to read...plus...I will add pictures for those of you who feel words are overrated.

When last we spoke, Kevin and I were about to celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary. We did that. I celebrated at a JV football game in the general northwest area of Jackson county. Kevin celebrated at Gallagher park, coaching Travis' U-11 soccer team.

Cole is number 83, just in case you were wondering. I don't have a picture of Kevin coaching that night so you will just have to imagine it. The football game ended in a loss but also ended the season. Since that time Cole has waffled back and forth about playing football next year. He really wants to play the games. Especially since next year his best friend will likely be on the team also. He thinks football is fun. He thinks football coaches who think football is "life" ruin the game for him. This is true of so many sports. It's high school folks...simmer down:-)

Our next fun event was Kevin getting horribly ill for like two weeks...okay I lied...that was not fun. But when a 45 year old man pretends he is still as he was in his twenties and can do crazy things like drive from Erie, PA to Lansing, MI to surprise a girl (yes I love this man!) and home again in the same 20 hour period, something is bound to give. He didn't do the former this time however. He just worked too many hours trying to be his own version of "SuperKev" and wound up flat on his back with a virus for two weeks. Through this whole thing I was spectacular (if I do say so myself) and took good care of him even though it is not in my nature to care for anyone other than my children when they are sick. He doesn't ask for much...we are made for each other.

During the "time of sickness" we had a couple other things happen. The first would be the worst holiday known to man (other than sweetest day...which I won't even capitalize because I am a rebel)...Halloween...what a stupid thing. The kids like it though so I try to play along. This year was nice because my nephew Big Al and his girlfriend Kaylee wanted to carve pumpkins with Travis and Bryan so I did not have to.


For the joyous evening itself we were joined by our friend the"Frenchies" to eat hotdogs and trick or treat.


I've found recently that I get so frustrated at how long it takes my pictures to load on photobucket that when I get about halfway through a blog post I quit because it is taking forever. I have reached that point right now...so instead of quitting and denying all of "ya'll" the joy of reading my musings. I will pretend I was done right here. It seems like a good place to be done don't you agree...on the 31st of October? Before the joyous month of November starts (my favorite month of the year)

Stayed tuned though...in the upcoming month we celebrate the day of Travis (which others would call a birthday) and some other random stuff that we do, that previously, before the days of the WWW (that is World Wide Web) would have remained private. But, now, joy of joys, our world can be shared with others! In words and pixels.
Blessings to you all...now go do something more useful than this with your day.
The End.